Keynote Motivational Speaker Toronto, Life Coach, Best Seller Author – Elfreda Pretorius

Based on Elfreda’s new ebook: Navigating from Reaction to Response

Picture this: It is the year 2011 and in the wink of eye, all your good intentions to take control of your life fly right out of the window, because once again, something distressing has happened and you are instantly plagued by rampant, out-of-control-emotions.  Gone is your commitment to positive thinking, and forgotten are all your positive affirmations. As so many times in the past, you are terribly upset and overwhelmed with fear, anger, or grief that consume your every waking moment.

When this happens, you may realize on some level that your reaction is out of proportion to what had happened, nevertheless, it seems uncontrollable.  Worse even, you know what you are feeling is bad for you, bad for your health, bad for your relationships, and there is even the risk that you could do something you might regret later. Of course you are familiar with these reactions, because regardless of the day, month or year – this is precisely how you have been reacting since you can remember! This is not an alien experience to any of us, and yet we seem incapable of combatting these debilitating emotions. Positive thinking is for the birds!

Objectively, many aspects of our life might be going well, but the quality of our life experience is regularly spoiled by emotional upset.  In fact, during these times, you cannot remember any of  the positive affirmations you wrote down, and positive thinking is something other people do. Not you. And when this happens we feel powerless, victimized, helpless, hurt, enraged, fearful, worried, frustrated, resentful, and enslaved. If you can identify with these feelings, then you also know that these negative feelings can be constant and relentless and may even result in negative health symptoms and discomfort.This is exactly what “living in reaction” looks and feels like. And contrary to what you may believe, this is common behaviour. You don’t need a therapist!  This is part of the human predicament, rooted in our childhood conditioning and aggravated by the pace of modern life.  If we are serious about personal growth, then understanding what occurs subconsciously, is vital to self improvement. It is not a simple case of mind over matter. Manifesting what we truly desire in life, is also much more than just knowing about the Law of Attraction.

If the truth be known, most people react, they do not respond. Reaction is a knee-jerk behaviour, thoughtless and mostly out of control. And it is a mindless thing, where “mind over matter” does not even feature in the equation. The problem with reaction is that it is emotionally charged and externalized, and ultimately can hurt only you. But we have the power to choose! If you don’t know how to choose your behaviour, you justify your reactions as “human” and “normal” and this excludes the possibility of any real learning. You fall into a downward spiral of negative thinking, even into depression, and you begin to expect the negative. When you expect the negative, you have very little control over your life. It becomes a self-defeating, blind battle where any small improvement is always temporary because it lacks self–examination and self-study, creating the illusion that the improvement came from outside of you.

The value of this guide is that it demonstrates the steps that lead to self-observation in simple terms. We have the capacity to steer personal growth – we just need to know which questions to ask. We can never give responsibility away – we can only give control away.  And we are powerless when we wait for miracles. Waiting to be “saved” is tantamount to saying you cannot do it yourself, and you need help. While some are waiting to be rescued, almost everyone is struggling to find a way to cope with a wide array of reactive emotions, all of which frustrate fulfilling our ultimate destiny of self-mastery. If we don’t understand how the Law of Attraction really works, it has the nasty tendency to bring us everything we don’t want.

Reactions are repeating patterns stimulated by an emotional trigger generated from some external source.  This causes us to feel victimized and blame someone or something for our pain. We may even harbour thoughts of getting even which makes us say and do things we will regret later. Unfortunately, many people prefer to run away from their problems, which is why they are never understood, nor ended. If we do not deal with a problem, we deal with the consequences of ignoring it.

There is a better way to live!  We are living in times where gurus and enlightened teachers have had their time.  The inner wisdom of each individual is beyond reproach – we are always our own best guru! The solution is learning how to live in the response mode. This Self-coaching guide had been created to compliment the inborn talent and skill human beings have to solve their own problems.  Response is when something happens, and even though we may feel the impulse to react emotionally, we know how to check our reactive emotions. Living in response is living powerfully by being the cause of the quality of our experience rather than the victim. No other person can save us from ourselves. We are each responsible for the quality of our life experiences.  No one else can know our life experience, how we feel, or what our thoughts are. Learning to live powerfully is inherently a ‘self-coaching’ process.

The aim of this guide is to empower the readers with proven self-coaching practices and techniques so that they can navigate from reaction to response, transform their lives, and take back the control that so many of us have lost through destructive reactive, emotional behaviour. 

Now picture this: It is still 2011, but you are having fun steering your life in the direction of your choosing. It is possible. Happy Navigating!

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